And I'm stuck.

Today, my time of not being able to leave the county begun. From this moment on I'm not allowed to leave the United States of America, for quiet some time. OPT's are scary. First of all, you're not allowed to leave the country till it's issued and then, something else, even scarier: After you get the OPT (which for me will be 6/1/12) you have exactly 90 days (90 fucking days!!!) to find an employment, otherwise, your OPT is considered invalid and you can be kicked out of the country, nice. Ha, and not only that... Being an actor you're kind of constantly on and off work, but if you're not "currently employed" at any rate, you're not able to leave the country at all. You have to have a job when you leave the country, so let's hope I have a job over Christmas. LA sucks during winter time.
Never mind.
I will go back to my re-writes now. We have the first reading tomorrow and I'm dying. I have a wonderful cast, but at the same moment, none of them know my work up to now and I'm slightly nervous. But the cast is wonderful. Practically all of my first choices are in there: Anastasia, Paige, Tessa, Nicolas, Mike and Shill. Six brilliant actors. I'm excited.

See you soon my lovelies.
xoxo

Paperwork

Today is OPT day. Again. Sooo much Paperwork. And you know how terrified I am of it. One wrong scrible... Never mind. But yea. Paperwork and Paperwork and more Paperwork. Where's a lawyer when you need one.

Restless.

So, today was interesting. I cried, I yelled, I laughed, threw a tantrum, stole a jacket, bitched about man, bitched about school, rolled around on the floor, yelled some more, freaked out, broke down, was stressed, was relaxed, quiet, really loud, annoyed myself, bitched, was happy, and I don't know the fuck what, but most of all I was always in motion. There was not one moment today where I was standing still. My feet wouldn't allow me to ground - at all. But now this day is done and I can shower. Yuhu

AHHHHHHHH

Soooo, I was in Vegas, right? Amazing! And now I'm back and about to face the most stressful three days of my life up to now (let's hope there will be many more like this to come).
This week I will have to finish shooting VIVID for Vance, and edit it by the end of next week. I will also have to finish the re-writes since my play is getting into rehearsal next week, where we will be rehearsing throughout the entire two weeks and have the staged reading March 15. A day before my one Person Show goes up. Yes. I know this is crazy. Three weeks, three projects to finish and attend school next to it. This will be lovely. I have so much shit to get off book for, but that's okay. At the moment, school's like relaxing time, because it isn't as stressful haha.
But yea, Vegas, amazing. There are not really accurate pictures for that trip, because apparently everything I take looks artsy and everything Kels took looks shaky, but that's fine.

Casting.

Casting People is way harder then it sounds. Either you think no one really fits or suddenly too many people do. Why am I getting on that subject? Martin and I are discussing casting at that point. Suddenly all the actors I know seem to be not enough. Sure I have my favorites and there are one or two in there I will fight for, and sure there are only six roles, but SIX ROLES! And I want them to at least seem perfect. I've been doing this now for about an hour (aside from cleaning my apartment real quick) and I should probably go to sleep. But how the freaking fuck can this be so hard! I'm probably going to stare at the screen for a little longer, this is bugging me. Damn it!

hell I look tired! I might should go to bed haha

Birthday Trip.

So it is happening. In 18 hours we'll leave for Vegas. The three Birthday kids (Paige, Charlie and me), Kels and Nick. It was funny talking to Charles today, because he had forgotten about it and freaked out. It was fun ("Is it really happening? Wow! It is really happening"). He isn't usually used that things are actually happening and as much as I adore the guys, but they're terrible organizing things. So tomorrow. I will need to clean my apartment before we leave. I thought I could do that tomorrow, but Martin called me at around ten, telling me that he wants to have a meeting about my play tomorrow - I'm not saying no to that. It is all moving so fast and I'll probably spend time in Vegas working, but that's fine. I can work on the trip, I'm not driving (I know isn't it insane, I gave in to someone else driving! Can you believe it?!). But yea, let me get on some stuff. See you soon. And now I will get inspired by lights in the desert.

PS: Welcome in the world of the American grown ups Paige. You're now officially an adult - at least the country says so.

Beauty, Freedom, Truth and Love

Re-Writes on my one Person Show. Tomorrows the second Draft due. YEY. It starts to go more and more to the Bohemian Ideal of Beauty, Freedom, Truth and Love, don't ask me why, but it is and I acknowledged that, so I'm now watching Moulin Rouge haha It helps. I haven't watched it in quiet some time, but it's pretty. And then there's this other thing: Music. Nothing seems to fit. It's either too sad, too depressing, too happy, to phony, to pretty or the lord knows what. Just nothing fits. Now I don't have to set that in stone till tomorrow, but I do have to have the draft done, so I'm gonna go back now, watching Moulin Rouge and writing about the Bohemian Ideal of Love.
Goodnight

OPT OPT OPT

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
So, the whole visa process started - again. I'm filling out my OPT and my stomach goes like: is this really happening? Have I really already been here for 2 years! That's crazy! I don't know what's happening. And the One Person Shows are coming up. So much is happening! GOSH!
Okay, breath, everything is going to be okay.

Overview.

It is 11.41 AM, I slept in a bit, because I was up till 5 last night and I don't have school till four. But yea, there's a lot to do till I'm going to go there. I have to get the money for my OPT (it's freaking expensive!) then I have another meeting with Martin, a meeting with Jorge, a meeting with Debra (gosh, way to many meetings), plus I have to get the TV audition down. YEY. Oh life. Anything else? I could have sworn... Well maybe it'll randomly pop back into my head. After school there's another shoot. I hope I'm gonna get home a bit early today though. So much homework is due next week and I was actually looking forward to  get it over with, since we're leaving for Vegas on Friday. YEY!

Lot's of love

Happy Birthday Charles.

First things first: If you don't know who Jason Segel is, shame on you and you don't even have to read any further, but if you die to know, I'll ask you, if you know 'How I met your mother'. If you answered no to this question, we're definitely done. Because Jason plays Marshall.

But let's start from the beginning:

Yesterday was my dying day, remember? Too many hours of too much work, but I made it. Ha. I got out from Victorias Place at 10 PM on the dot, that made it a 13 hour day. It was good. I got home, changed, and was more then ready to celebrate the man of the night: Charles Nicholls. So now even my youngest brother turned 21, and we're good to go to Vegas haha By the time we arrived, there was not much of his birthday left, but that was okay. He was drunk out of his mind (like every American on his 21st birthday) and was having an intense conversation with (now here we are) Jason Segel. Tall man, really, really tall man, although Nick claims that he's still taller. Anyways, I now stood there with three ridiculously tall man and all of them fairly good looking haha. Good thing I had my murder heels on, otherwise I would have drowned... Never mind, let's stop sidetracking and get back to the story. I walk in, wish Charles Happy Birthday and the next thing I know is Jason Segel offering my shots. It was fairly entertaining. He introduced himself and had a rather long talk with us. Nick fell in love with him and so did Charlie. He goes on that long speech, that you should never give up and that you have to get through some really rocky times, that this business is designed to make you quit, but you just keep going.   He also said to keep writing, as long as you don't do it high. I was entertained. 

Jason Segel, or in Nicks way of saying: 'Jason fucking Segel' 

After the last call they we went back to the boys and I eventually passed out on the couch. It feels like ages since I last spent the night there. But this was good, a good night with good people. Thank you Jason for making my night, thank you Ryan for saving me from weird creepers, thank you Lucy for being a hilarious drunk, thank you Kels for coming, thank you Charlie for having your birthday and thank you Nick for - I don't know.

The happy birthday boy and his probably best birthday present haha

Now, back to work.

I love you all

Fuck (hoch 27 oder so)

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck (I could go on)
I took the day off on my birthday and half of Monday (don't worry, I went to school but I didn't do anything else) and that was fabulous, but that leaves me now with the fact that I am overwhelmed with work. Tomorrow I have a 12 hour day with one 1 hour break and it's Charlies birthday. Ha, I want to sleep, really badly. Really, really badly. But there is still a playreport to do. Having lots of stuff to do I have to admit that I forgot to read. I will have to plan a day in to just read all the freaking books. This is... well yea. Okay, I still have 200 pages to read till tomorrow at 9, so let me get onto that.
Just let me give you one advice: If you take a day off, make sure you're ahead of your work.
Love

Happy Birthatine. ♥

So, yesterday was Birthatine for me. Valentines Day for everyone else and Birthday and Valentines Day for me. I'm a lucky bitch in this country, I'll never be one of those hundreds of depressed people who think Valentines Day should actually be called 'Single Awareness Day'. Now, the day was amazing. It's mindeblowing how easy it is to get through the day if you just choose to ignore everything that goes wrong. haha. Plus, I do know amazing people. You know those really corny "you walk into a black room and suddenly surprise parties" - they exist. I had one of them yesterday. Haha. It's funny when you suddenly see people jumping from everywhere, especially Charlie and Alex, they're both somewhat 6'2'' or something and when you see them jumping out from somewhere it's just hilarious. Another good thing about having your birthday on Valentines Day is that only the people who really care will spend it with you, and that's the most amazing thing ever... Today it was rainy and I had school at 4. Good thing, so my body was able to adjust to the fact that it's 22 now (and that we emptied quiet some Champagne). 

My Birthday present to myself, don't tell me those are not the most amazing shoes ever....

Anyway, I hope you had a fabulous day as well. Now, back to work. 

Lots of love and everything ♥

Art is everywhere.

I do need days like this.
We did the shoot for Moth Complex today, at the Arts Lap. It was amazing. The second we set food in there I was done. Everywhere you looked there was something new, and no matter how small it may seemed, you could have shot a whole movie there and have it look like 100 different locations. I love it. Now, I'm happy.

Directors

I had to giggle when I saw this on my old Directing Teachers Wall, because I remember him repeating one thing over and over again:
"Direction is so much, and up to the day now, no one was able to explain to me what directing really is" (yea, directing is like love, everyone knows it exists, but no one can put it in words haha)

Oh LA

I'm usually not a huge fan of the 'Shit people say' Videos, but this one, is pretty much accurate for L.A.

The Bohemian Ideal

Wow, I'm done. After, what felt like, 10'000 drafts of shitty One Person Shows, I just set the last dot to the one I think I'm going to do. It's not entirely perfect yet, and there will definitely be some re-writes, but I have it done.
13 minutes, on the dot. I do have a hand for timing.
This is good. And I do actually like it too. Who would have thought my, I thought not existing, dating life was actually that funny. Well, it seems to be.
Tomorrow we have a read of it, and for the first time I actually will not have to sink into the floor before reading it. Up to now, I basically hated everything I wrote: Too dark, too abstract, too much, too whatever, but this actually seems okay. And I can swear and curse and be somewhat obscene, I like it. Let's see what'll happen to it, to my Bohemian Ideal.
Good night now.

Country

So. I found out that Kels grew up being a country girl. I have to admit, I might have an idea of country music, but I really don't know what it is. Well, now I know. It is hilarious. Truly, this made my night. These lyrics... tractors? Boots? and most importantly alcohol...

Real People.

Okay, I just saw this on the wall of a friend of mine:

Oh, Hollywood. It's sad how you suddenly are an alien if you're an actor haha. No, just kidding. But people do look at you differently and yea, you know. Whatever.

Well, I just got back from the last shoot. Took longer then expected, but it looks really good. Tomorrow I have another meeting, because our last location just blew. I went out to look at it today and the room we thought we would get is 'currently in renovation', which means they showed me the small room which definitely is not going to work. I can't even imagine through how much Location Scouts have to go. A huge thank you to all of them out there. I hope I one day can work with you, because Location Scouting is time consuming and stressful. Beautiful and everything but hard.
Now I'm sitting here with my Chinese Food, about to start homework. Life is pretty, take good care of it, it's the only one you get.
♥

80's Metal Rock.

So. Last night we went out. I know, it's a school night, but it's my only day off this week and Kelseys friend is getting shipped to Japan today for four years, so we went to say goodbye.
House of Blues. Nice, I thought. I never thought there would be a heavy metal band playing, which was the case. For the first ten minutes (the last ten minutes of the first band) I hid on the third floor. When I went back down they announced the next band - an 80's Metal Rock Band. We wanted to leave, but this just sounded too good. I mean for real? 80's Metal Rock? GOSH! And our expectations were more then fulfilled when four long haired metal Rocker in latex legins entered the stage. It was amazing, I laughed till I was crying out of laughter, and then something creepy happened. The guy with the guitar grabbed the mic. By that point I was turned away from the stage because I was talking to Kels. Suddenly Nicks voice fills the room. A weird version of Nicks voice, as if he had been smoking too much, but it was Nicks voice. It was the way Nick spoke, the same speech pattern, the same use of words - I was convinced it was Nick - surprised that he was at an 80's Metal concert (even though, no one would ever think of me going to one) and wondering how he would have probably gotten to the microphone (but then again, everything is possible if you give him a couple of beers) I turn around to realize that the guy with the guitar was the one talking. EXACTLY like Nick. My mind freaked out. For like twenty minutes straight. It was amazing and mind blowing.
I'm kind of glad I have 'Going to a 80's Metal Rock concert' of my list though.
Really weird night.

Game day.

Today's Superbowl day: New York Giant vs. New England Patriots.
After missing the big game last year I decided that I cannot let that happen again this year. The thing that's kind of messing with that is that I have a shitload of work and no TV. I almost went out to get one haha, but then I discovered Live Steam yey! And I can do my work, having the Superbowl playing next to it.
The NY girl in my is shining through, although Tom Brady would be someone to go for (Yes, Giselle Bündchen made the right choice). So this is going to be my night tonight.
Have fun my lovelies.
xoxo

Little hopes and little dreams.

I know I am nowhere yet, I am aware that I'm just beginning and there's still a lot of work ahead of me, but it is a honor when people ask to work with you. When actors come up to you and want you to look at their reel, I do feel deeply honored. I just hope this continues and I will work as hard as I can and do the best possible, because I am aware that this is just a sneak peak and I definitely would love to get the big picture.
Meeting with Vance went well, now I'm off to sleep.

This is good. Thank you sooso much.

Business Woman

It is Friday night. Other people call it weekend, for me it's Meeting Night. Since I'm in school, have homework and try to do as much outside of school as possible, we Friday night has transformed. I like it. I just had a meeting with Aoife for the Moth Complex Video Shoot and now Vance is coming over and we'll work on the Color Shoot.
So yea, my day today has been rather funny: Sleep, School, Homework, Sleep, School, Meeting, Bloging, Meeting and then hopefully sleep. With all those three hour brakes in my schedule I turned into a nap person. Three hour break now means for me 1.5 hours naptime, so I can continue working till late at night and still manage to get up in the morning (not saying that I'm a friendly person then). I do love this and the idea of making a living with this is extraordinary.
At the moment I cut down from working at three projects to two. It would work, but at the moment all of them are in pre-production, and having all three start shooting at the same time would be rather difficult, so I pushed mine to later. Also, I'm still working on the play, having all the inputs from Karen Hensel and Ben Martin. And then of course school. We're performing our 1 Person Shows in six weeks and so I'm writing on that as well. Living a dream comes quiet close to what I'm doing. The only thing that's missing to that on the moment, is getting payed for it, but I'm working on that, too.
It was weird, in class we were assigned to write our future self in the most perfect way possible. So, if everything works out, if everything is perfect, and even imagining that I still saw myself working. Most of the others were like: I have a house here, I spend my days on the beach ect. but I literally feel that I'm the most happy when I'm busy. Probably means that I'm doing the right thing then.
Anyways, Vance will be here in 5.
Have a lovely weekend.
xoxo

Gosh, it's February

I knew time was running, but damn this goes fast. In two weeks I turn 22, in three weeks I'll go to Vegas and that's as much private stuff as I can fit in. At the moment I'm working on three projects besides going to school. It's crazy, it is.
But yea, I'm tired and gonna go to bed now.
xoxo